So I dropped Cross Country

It made me feel so horrible. Because I love my team so much. And I was so looking forward to having trips with the team, and just being with them. I always have so much fun.

Even though running was difficult I was willing to stick with it.

But this whole week with school has been horrible. I've been eating lunch in the ten minutes between classes and eating dinner in the ten minutes before the caf closes, and always feeling stressed and never being back in my dorm, let alone have time to do any homework. All I was constantly doing was running, school, barely eating, sleep, repeat. I couldn't handle it. I'm taking 18 units and I guess that I didn't realize how much time cross country was going to take. And with having practice every day except sunday I just couldn't do it.

I'm so saddened in my soul that I left those great people, but for now I think it was the best thing i could do.

I'm going to try and go running every morning though, and maybe run with the team if i can, and I'll definitely watch all their meets that are nearby and wish that I was running with them. Even now I'm so sad, but I couldn't do it. :(

I'm going to try and make a better schedule next term and maybe I can run with them for the whole off season and then next year be on the team again. Even though I'm slow, If i run every morning I think I can improve my endurance a lot. Plus, I've been losing weight with all this running which always feels nice.. and I can feel the muscles in my legs, it's pretty awesome. haha.

Travis spoke the other sunday and he was talking about once when he hurt his hand and couldn't play volleyball that after that he was just grateful that he could play. And that's how I want my attitude to be. Just grateful that I can run, that I don't have to sit on the sidelines and watch, even though I guess that's kind of where I am right now. But I think that it'll make me a better runner if I'm doing it all for Christ.

Gah. I wish i was running with them right now. They're probably finished by now, but still... thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I'm so emotional right now... I'm so lame.

I love you Lord, let me put you before everything else in my life, before running, before school, before every thought and action. You've given me every good and perfect gift and I thank you for the joy I was able to have while I was on the team. I love you.