Challenges

Last night I basically broke down by the lake.

I get stressed out rather easily I guess, oh and i'm a crazy procrastinator who lets things pile up. But i guess the real reason i'm stressed is cause i don't really have a friend yet.

Now, don't take that the wrong way. I have lots of friends up here, and I have been enjoying all the fun times, but i don't really have like.. someone to talk to and share stupid stories with.

I guess i came to this realization last night when i was at airband practice and these people went on stage and I just wanted to tell someone of how amazingly horrible they were. Someone to laugh with me, and I opened my phone to text someone, but I had no one. It was a truly horrible feeling.

I know that making friends takes time and I dunno, i guess i just felt like i had made a few friends like that, but it's still at a superficial stage. Where, i dunno, i can't just say hey i'm bored. let's do something. Cause then i feel like i'm being the needy friend instead of having someone who just knows that boredom happens and being bored together is better than being bored alone.

Lord, please send me a friend who will encourage me in my faith and who I can walk with during my time here.

So there i said it. I've come out with it, and i feel much better I must say. I just get awkward sometimes when things get inbetween friendships. Like the whole boys and girls hanging out thing. why is it such a stipulation that you can't hang out with boys and just be friends with them. Like, I really do just want to be friends. Nothing more, but apparently whoever you go on a walk with you're somehow dating and so that is unacceptable. Ridiculous. The stereotypes and stupidness of all this ring by spring stuff just leads to premature relationships and people getting married just to be married, because they think they need someone.

I do want someone, but i'll find my content with just the Lord first. and maybe a good friend.